Guide
Sex After 60: Frank Advice for More Fun in Bed
What changes, what helps and how to enjoy yourself with someone new. Every health point names its source.
Is Sex After 60 Normal?
Completely. Age UK says many older people have an active sex life, and calls the idea that people stop as they get older a common misconception. In the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA), most men and more than half of women in their sixties had been sexually active in the past year.
For ELSA, 6,201 adults in England aged 50 to over 90 (56% of them women) completed a questionnaire on their sex lives in 2012/13, and the results were published in 2016. Any sexual activity in the past year counted, masturbation included.
| Age | Men | Women |
|---|---|---|
| 60 to 69 | 84.5% | 59.9% |
| 70 to 79 | 59.3% | 34.3% |
The researchers warn that their figures may overestimate sexual activity, particularly among the very oldest. Still, raise a glass to this: among sexually active people aged 80 and over in ELSA, the share reporting intercourse twice a month or more was 19% for men and 32% for women.
Nobody's keeping score, mind you. More, less or none at all is your call.
What Changes in Your Body After 60?
For women
Age UK says that as oestrogen levels fall, it's common to notice changes in desire and sexual function. The NHS says menopausal dryness, burning, irritation or itching in and around the vagina can make sex feel painful.
Our guide to sex after the menopause covers the treatments.
For men
The NHS says erection problems are very common, particularly in men over 40. Nothing to be sheepish about, then.
NHS inform, Scotland's NHS information service, says to speak to your GP if changes to your body are affecting your sex life.
What Helps You Enjoy It More?
Most of it needs nothing more than a little nerve.
Lubricant, generously
For vaginal dryness, the NHS suggests a water-based lubricant before sex. It's kit, not a confession.
Time to warm up
Rushing helps nobody. Make the build-up the main course, not the starter.
Say what you like
What worked before may not now. Say what feels good, and laugh when things go sideways.
More than one way to play
Arthritis UK says penetrative sex isn't the only way to sexual satisfaction. Touch and imagination count.
Pick your moment
No rule says sex happens at bedtime. If you're brightest after breakfast, start the day well.
Condom-friendly lube
Using latex condoms? The NHS says go for a water-based or silicone-based lubricant, not an oil-based one.
What Helps With Erection Problems?
Plenty, and there's no need to be embarrassed. If erection problems keep happening, the NHS says to see a GP or go to a sexual health clinic, and Age UK says effective treatments include medication such as Viagra and devices such as vacuum pumps.
The NHS says sildenafil (Viagra) can be bought from a pharmacy after speaking with a pharmacist, though it's mostly available with a prescription, and the other types need a prescription. Buy it without one and the NHS advises a check-up with your doctor within six months of starting.
The NHS also warns that taking sildenafil with poppers or illegal drugs such as amphetamines, ecstasy and cocaine can increase the risk of serious side effects.
Sex After a Hip Replacement, Prostate Surgery and More
Age UK's starting point is sensible: if you're diagnosed with a health condition, check with your doctor that it's safe for you to be having sex.
After a hip replacement
The NHS says to try to avoid sex for 6 to 8 weeks after the operation. Arthritis UK, the charity once called Versus Arthritis, says many people find lying on their back more comfortable, and that you shouldn't feel awkward asking for advice on suitable positions.
After a knee replacement
Ask your doctor when it's safe to start again: it's the same sensible check Age UK suggests above.
Living with arthritis
Arthritis UK says sex itself won't make your arthritis worse. When pain is a problem, it suggests taking painkillers about an hour before sex, and it says the fatigue that comes with arthritis can reduce your sexual desire.
Angina, a cardiac event or cardiac surgery
The British Heart Foundation (BHF) says that whether you have angina or are recovering from a heart attack or heart surgery, you should be able to carry on having sex as soon as you feel well enough. That's usually around 2 to 8 weeks, it says, depending on your condition and how quickly you recover.
According to the BHF, sex is no more likely to trigger a heart problem, such as a heart attack, than any other activity. If you have chest pain at any stage, it says stop and get medical help. The BHF adds that erection tablets like Viagra can be prescribed from six months after a heart attack, providing your condition is stable, but cannot be used with nitrates (GTN) or nicorandil, which are used to treat angina.
After prostate cancer treatment
Prostate Cancer UK says surgery often causes erection problems, and many men find these improve with time and treatment, though it can take a few months to a few years. After surgery you won't ejaculate any semen, it says, but you can still orgasm.
With hormone therapy, the charity says, you may have erection problems and will likely lose your desire for sex, while after external beam radiotherapy erection problems can develop slowly. It lists tablets, vacuum pumps, injections, pellets, creams, implants and testosterone replacement therapy as treatments, and says vacuum pumps are usually available on the NHS. Its specialist nurses take confidential calls on 0800 074 8383, free of charge from UK landlines and mobiles.
Nervous About Sex With Someone New?
Of course you are, especially after years off, a divorce or a bereavement. Your body isn't the one you had at 30, and neither is theirs. Most people here have lived a bit too.
NHS inform puts it kindly: you can still enjoy the pleasure your body has to offer, on your own or with someone else, at any age. A few habits help:
- Chat on the site first, and meet somewhere public before anything else.
- Say what you're after, and what's off the menu, before anything starts.
- Sort out condoms before the clothes come off. It's far easier with your coat still on.
- Either of you can stop at any point, for any reason, and that's the end of it.
Our guide to meeting safely covers first meet-ups, and the safety page explains blocking and reporting. Saucy Over Sixty is for adults, 18+, and slow is allowed.
In your seventies, or fancy someone who is? Our guide to dating over 70 covers flirting and sex in your seventies, and if a little lace helps you feel the part, read lingerie for older women.
Still Pack the Condoms
STIs pay no attention to birthdays. The UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) recorded 3,608 new STI diagnoses among people aged 65 and over in England in 2025. Our guide to sexual health over 60 covers free NHS clinics, free condoms and testing.
Questions About Sex After 60
How long after a hip replacement can you have sex?
The NHS says to try to avoid sex for 6 to 8 weeks after the operation, and Arthritis UK gives a similar timescale.
Can you still orgasm after prostate surgery?
Yes. Prostate Cancer UK says you won't ejaculate any semen after surgery but can still orgasm, and that many men find erection problems improve with time and treatment.
Can I buy erection tablets from a pharmacy?
The NHS says you can buy sildenafil from a pharmacy after speaking with a pharmacist, while the other types need a prescription. If you buy it that way, it advises a check-up with your doctor within six months of starting.
Do you still need condoms after 60?
With anyone new, yes. The NHS calls using a condom every time you have sex the best way to protect yourself and the other person from HIV and other STIs.
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