Guide
Dating at 60: Getting Back Out There After a Long Break
Back after a divorce, a bereavement or simply years away? Start here: a plain plan for your first week, and how to enjoy it.
How Do You Start Dating Again at 60?
Gently, and on your terms. Make a profile under a username, say plainly what you are after, chat on the site before you meet anyone, and keep the first meet-up short and public. Everything else you can work out as you go, and nobody is marking you on it.
If the last time you did this involved a note passed across a crowded pub, the modern version can look daunting. It is mostly typing. You look through the people suggested to you, send a message to anyone who catches your eye, and they reply or they don't. Nobody sees you blush, and you can put the kettle on between messages.
Saucy Over Sixty is a UK site for adults, 18+, made for people in their sixties and beyond who fancy flirting and some no-strings fun. You will be among people who have had breaks, upheavals and second acts of their own, which takes a lot of the pressure off.
Coming Back After a Divorce, a Bereavement or Years Off
There is no correct moment to start again. When curiosity begins to outweigh the nerves, that is usually a good sign, and if you are reading this, you may already be there.
After a divorce
Many people want fun without anything heavy for a while, and that is a perfectly good thing to want. Say so in your profile and you will save everyone a lot of guessing. If the shorthand in other people's profiles baffles you, our guide to casual dating terms translates NSA, DTF and the rest.
After a bereavement
Grief and fancying someone can sit side by side, and feeling ready to flirt again is nothing to feel guilty about. Go at your own pace and share as much of your story as you like, when you like. If grief or loneliness feels heavy going, The Silver Line, run by Age UK, is a 24-hour helpline for older people across the UK on 0800 4 70 80 90, and Samaritans answer calls on 116 123 at any hour, from any phone.
After years away
What has changed is mostly the method. Profiles have replaced introductions, messages have replaced phone calls, and a short video call has become the polite way to check someone matches their photos before you meet.
Your First Week Back, Day by Day
- Day one: make your profile. Pick a username, add a recent photo and write a few honest lines. Fifteen minutes is plenty.
- Day two: set your preferences. Choose the age range you fancy, who you would like to meet and what you are after. Your daily suggestions start from these.
- Day three: take the ID check. It costs nothing on any plan, and the ID verified badge it adds tells people you are real.
- Day four: send three short messages. Mention something from each person's profile and finish with an easy question. Our page on over 60s chat has openers you can borrow.
- Day five: join in. Post a status update, answer a poll or try a quiz. It is a low-stakes way to be noticed.
- Day six: talk properly. When you feel sure enough about someone, a short video call tells you more in five minutes than a week of messages.
- Day seven: coffee, somewhere public. Make your own way there, tell a friend your plans and leave whenever you like.
None of it is compulsory, and a week can easily become a month. The features page explains everything else you can use along the way.
What to Write When You Haven't Done This for Years
Short and specific beats long and general. Say what you enjoy, what you are after and something that sounds like you. A little humour helps enormously. Three examples to get you going:
- "Recently single after a long time off the market. Fond of red wine, bad puns and Sunday drives. Fancy some flirty company and we'll see where it goes."
- "Widowed a couple of years ago and ready for a bit of fun again. Good listener, better cook, no strings needed."
- "Divorced, sixty-two and making up for lost time. Looking for a cheeky chat and the odd discreet meet-up."
What to leave out: a list of everything you don't want, group photos where nobody can tell which one is you, sunglasses in every picture, and long stories about your ex. Save those for the third drink, or better still, never.
Nerves, Knock-Backs and Keeping Your Sense of Humour
Not every message gets an answer, and that is nothing personal. People are busy, distracted or simply not looking for what you are. Your suggestions refresh every day, so tomorrow brings new faces.
For the first meet-up, choose somewhere you already feel at ease and keep it short: a coffee can always become lunch if it is going well. Have your own way home sorted, and agree with a friend that they will text you partway through.
You stay in charge throughout. Block anyone instantly, report a profile or a message from inside the site, and talk anything through with support by chat and messaging, day and night. The safety page lists every protection.
Sex After a Long Gap
If it has been a while, go slowly and talk about it. Our guide to sex after 60 covers what changes and what helps, and sex after the menopause sets out the treatments the NHS describes. Whatever your history, use condoms with anyone new; NHS sexual health clinics are free and confidential, as our guide to sexual health over 60 explains.
Spotting the People to Avoid
Most people are exactly who they seem, and a few are not who they claim to be. Age UK's advice is to never send money or financial information about yourself to someone you don't know well or haven't met. The government's own anti-fraud campaign adds that it is worth staying on the dating site until you feel confident about someone.
Be wary of anyone who gets very keen very quickly, always has a reason not to meet or video call, or steers the talk towards money. A warning pops up on Saucy Over Sixty if someone tries to move your chat to WhatsApp or another app, and asking members for money is against the member terms. Our guide to dating scams over 60 explains what to look for and where to report it, and meeting safely covers the first date itself.
Starting Again at 60: Your Questions
Is 60 too old to start dating again?
Not at all. You will be among people over 60 here, and there is no deadline on enjoying yourself.
How soon after a divorce should I start dating?
Whenever you feel ready. There is no rule. Some people want company within weeks, others wait years, and both are fine.
Should I tell my family I am dating?
That is entirely up to you. You appear under a username, your real name and email address are never shown publicly, and your profile names only your nearest town or city.
What should my first message say?
Keep it short, mention something from their profile and end with a question that is easy to answer. A bare hello gives the other person very little to work with.
Can I try it before I pay anything?
Joining is free, and the Free plan lets you make a profile, see your daily suggestions and send a limited number of messages each day. The pricing page shows what VIP and VIP+ add.